I am a strong advocate of the idea that emotions play a critical role in everything we do in our lives, from deciding on the small things to bigger decisions, such as choosing our life partner. Our emotions dictate the choices we make, and the choices we make will have an impact on the life we live. Each one of us will have different choices that will guide us differently to the way we want to live our lives. The beautiful part is we can change our emotions at any time and start living the life that we want.
As a young child, I grew up in an environment where I wasn’t taught how to feel my emotions, so I lived a life of being unaware. Actually, I didn’t even know what emotions were -- that’s how bad my conditioning and programming was. I used to always question the things that weren’t working in my life. No one really had any answers other then taking me to many doctors or telling me to believe in God. As I got older, my life only got more out of control. I experienced bad health and my relationships weren’t working. I didn’t have the skills or tools to deal with life’s everyday problems. So I blindly made choices under the expectations of others and society.
Being emotionally immature was wreaking havoc on every aspect of my life; my health, my relationships, my finances and my career. My health was totally out of control, my personal relationships weren’t working because I didn’t understand how to set boundaries, and my finances were completely out of balance. I was accumulating more and more debt and didn’t know how to deal with it. I was never taught about the importance of emotions and the role they played in living a balanced life.
It wasn’t until 2008, when I started to do the deep emotional work, that my life began to change. I peeled back layers of emotional blockages that were keeping me stuck. My healing journey was a powerful one, where each and every emotion was examined and connections were made to why I felt the emotion. Since I had lived a fear-based life, I had learned to only suppress and internalize my emotions. I didn’t have the awareness level of how to express my feelings and deal with them on a daily basis. Instead I learned to suppress them deeper into my body and this only made matters worse.
My emotions were keeping me stuck from living my life to the fullest. As each emotion came up to heal I had to do the deeper work to connect to why I felt the emotion and make connections to where in my life I had experienced and suppressed this emotion. Clearing up my emotions was hard work as it went all the way back to childhood. This process took 5 years before I could look at the deeper issues that were not working in my life. My healing contributed to me making other decisions that were not aligned with the new person I had become. I had to disconnect from many relationships and that included my marriage of 21-years. Being in touch with my emotions has made me a stronger and wiser person. I have now taken back my emotional powers and live an empowered life that reflects the real me: the person the universe had created from the beginning.